S4E2: A Safe Place for Those Running on Empty

Welcome back. We're in season 4 where we're talking about heartful nursing in the face of burnout. Burnout is more than just feeling tired. It's a deep, ongoing exhaustion that affects your body, your mind, and your spirit. In nursing, it often comes from the constant pressure, overwhelming patient loads, and the quiet weight of knowing you can't always give the care you long to give.

Recent studies show that a significant percentage of nurses, especially new grads, are experiencing burnout within their first few years. And behind those numbers are real stories. Today's episode is one of those stories. Our guest will share her journey as a new nurse navigating the tension of a broken healthcare system where the pace is relentless, the expectation is high, and the space for compassionate patient-centered care can feel impossibly small. But in the middle of that exhaustion, God was not absent.

Through the words of Psalm 62:5-8, we'll explore what it looks like to move from striving to stillness, from depletion to dependence, and from burnout into a deeper anchored hope in God. If you've ever felt like you're running on empty or like your calling is clashing with reality, this conversation is for you.

I basically felt like I was running on empty. I felt like I was giving everything to my job. I go home and just feel depleted, numb, and like I was not really living. I was just existing. Before I felt like pouring my heart out to God would be complaining to Him.

The Psalm and the season of burnout helped me understand that He truly wants to hear about everything going on. That it truly is alright to pour out our hearts to him because he understands and truly wants to hear about all our cares and concerns. I feel so much relief now when I pour my heart out to him and such an overwhelming sense of calm.

Erica, thank you so much for being with me today. I am so excited to hear your story and for our listeners to get to meet you. Could you just start off by telling us your nursing role, where you serve, how long you've been walking with Jesus, all the good stuff.

Thank you for having me. So I accepted Jesus when I was in third grade. But I would say, I really didn't start to make my faith my own until after my mom passed away when I was in college. I then went on to earn my BSN in 2023. And now my primary nursing role is interning with NCF, where I enjoy bringing NCF to my area university and interacting with local nursing students.

I also have a PRN nursing role.

Just to help us get to know you a little bit better, what are some other like fun things that you like to do or hobbies?

Coffee shops. I love going to coffee shops. Probably one of the worst questions anyone can ask me is, What's your favorite coffee shop? I like so many of them I couldn't pick. I also love to travel with my dad.

My favorite place I've traveled to so far is Montana. One funny moment from our last trip over there was we used a car sharing service. And so when we're on vacation, if we're somewhere over a Sunday, we try to go to a local church. So when we attended a local church over there, one of the pastors came up to us and said, we were renting his car after he sat sitting in the parking lot. And we had had no clue who we rented this car from.

Oh, what a small world. That's so fun. And what a fun tradition to get to travel with your dad. That sounds amazing. So this season, we're talking about burnout and heartful nursing in the face of burnout.

So why don't we start with just your story? What was the season like that you experienced burnout? How did that feel for you?

So in my last nursing job, I often had an overwhelming amount of patients to care for with minimal resources. As soon as one fire would be put out, it would seem like there would be three more fires to put out. There was often only one aide for the floor. So delegating tasks was usually not an option or I'd be in a pod by myself. I would feel bad asking for help from another nurse or assistant because I knew they were experiencing similar trials.

But I would have to ask because I wanted to be safe. I was also taken off orientation early, so I hadn't been fully trained, which resulted in me needing to ask for help when I did not know how to do something or I couldn't find a needed resource. I got to the point where one extra thing that would go wrong, such as a printer running out of ink or fall risk patient needing extra time with care would completely throw off the schedule. There was no time to think, often just running from one task to another. And the moral dilemma that I often faced was not having the time to provide the compassionate, quality patient-centered care that we had all been trained to provide in nursing school because everything else would just get backed up.

Good care was measured on hitting certain task oriented metrics, not meeting the whole patient's needs.

Wow, this was very early on. You were like a pretty new nurse at this point, right? So I'm guessing that wasn't quite what you expected upon entering the field after graduation and definitely getting into nursing. What did that feel like? How was it showing up in your body and your life? Spiritually? What was that season like?

I basically felt like I was running on empty. I felt like I was giving everything to my job and like I had nothing left for my loved ones, friends, and church. I felt depleted spiritually. When I was hired, I had been told what my hours would be. My work and time was not that reality. I would often have to stay an hour or two after to get everything done. And I found out later on that I'd actually be doing the work of two people. I go home and just feel depleted, numb. And like, was not really living. I was just existing. I don't remember where I initially heard this, but I felt like I was a human doing instead of a human being.

Yeah, that's a good way to describe it. Thank you for so much for sharing all that. That sounds so exhausting and honestly kind of panicky and just Yeah, like I said, not really what you would expect your first role in nursing. So this season, we're kind of integrating your story and then some selected verses from Psalms. So you've selected the verses from Psalm 62:5-8. And we're looking at the English Standard Version for those who like to track along with us. So would you be willing to just read those verses that you've selected for us to reflect on today?

Sure. For God alone, oh my soul, wait in silence for my hope is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress. I shall not be shaken. On God rest my salvation and my glory. My mighty rock. My refuge is God. Trust in Him at all times, O people. Pour out your heart before Him. God is a refuge for us. Selah.

Thank you. As you read through this passage, what observations do you have and what stands out to you in this passage? So I noticed the language of absoluteness of God as the sole focus and source. So it says God alone gives hope God only is the rock salvation and fortress trust in him at all times. It's so absolute and so focused on God. So how about you? What are some of the observations or things that stood out to you as you looked at this passage?

For me, I noticed a lot of language around hope. So like, wait, silence, hope, rock, salvation, unshaken, rest, mighty rock and refuge. I also noticed a lot of great words that describe God here that convey that God is our safe place. He's described as rock, refuge, salvation, glory, fortress. We can hide in God and be safe, protected, and secure.

I also observed the author's emotional state. He seems to be going through something stressful or worrisome based on verse five. For God alone, oh my soul, wait in silence. And the couple of references to God being his refuge and how David tells us to pour out your heart before Him. I resonate by a long period of silence waiting on God as I was filled with despair and deep concern with the working conditions around me.

Lastly, I noticed that the verbs that describe David's role are all dependent on God. David waits in silence. He is unshaken. He puts his hope in the Lord, despite his circumstances. And he invites others to do similarly. He invites them to trust in God all the time and to pour out our hearts before Him.

Yeah. Thank you for those observations. Those are so helpful to just soak in the passage and see what's there. As you read through it, is there a line or a phrase that helps you put something into words that you couldn't back then when you were in the midst of your season of burnout?

The part where he mentions, I shall not be shaken. I was trusting that God was and is ultimately in control, but the I shall not be shaken resonates with me now. Because no matter the circumstance, God is here and I can rest in Him. And then in the end, all will be made well in heaven and the new earth. This world that we're in, including healthcare is broken.

Yeah, I love the Psalms because they name these things that we sometimes don't have language for, and such helpful prayers in seasons of hardship or lament or burnout because they help us have language to what we're experiencing when we don't quite know how to word it ourselves yet. So as we move into from observations to interpretation, as we think about burnout, what does this passage say about weariness and limits? And how has that helped you make sense of your season of burnout?

That God is our hope. And we could pour out what is causing us to have weary hearts unto Him, because he is our fortress. He is our mighty rock and our salvation. We are not our own rocks and cannot save ourselves. We are fallen and do not know the whole picture. He does. He sees everything. We have limits. He is limitless. I find comfort in that because it was a way for me to more deeply learn to cry out to him.

A few times I was literally on the floor on my knees, crying out to him about everything going on at work. And just for some context due to past surgeries, being down on my knees is painful. No, my circumstances did not immediately change, but I experienced a peace that really did surpass all understanding. And even though we continue to be chaotic, I was able to work with a more peace-filled calm. I think patients sense this too because I actually had a few ask me out of the blue to pray with them.

That's awesome. I really liked what you said about, like, we're not our own rocks and we can't save ourselves. And yeah. That really resonates. Was there anything from this psalm that helped you clarify something that you maybe misunderstood about God before or something some way that the psalm helped bring clarity?

Before I felt like pouring my heart out to God would be complaining to Him. It almost like I wasn't being grateful for Him giving me this job. And that I just needed to work harder and try harder. This Psalm and the season of burnout helped me understand that he truly wants us to hear about everything going on. That it truly is all right to pour out our hearts to him because he understands and truly wants to hear about all our cares and concerns. I feel so much relief now when I pour my heart out to Him and such an overwhelming sense of calm.

That's beautiful. We've already kind of touched on this pouring out our hearts to him. It's definitely part of the application of this passage. But let's keep putting these verses into practice. How else does this passage invite you from burnout into heartful nursing?

When I have struggles, not only praying to God for help, but also pouring out to Him my hopes and fears and saying, not my will, but your will be done and visualizing opening my hands out to Him. There's a saying from one of my favorite pastor authors, the late pastor Charles Stanley: Obey God and leave the consequences to Him. That helps me put this Psalm into perspective. The Psalm literally says in verse 8, trust in Him at all times, O people, pour out your heart before Him. God is a refuge for us.

God is telling us to pour out our hearts to Him and that we can trust Him at all times. Trusting Him and pouring out my heart to Him is me listening and being obedient to Him. And the visualization I shared earlier about opening my hands to God is me leaving and trusting Him to deal with the consequences.

Yeah, that makes sense. So now that we've studied these verses from the Psalms, let's zoom back out and kind of refocus on your story through this lens of the Psalm. So as we look back at your story of burnout now with the lens of these Psalm verses, what do you see? How was God at work looking back with sort of hindsight? What does that look like from this perspective?

I think he used this as a growing season for me to get closer to him. And unexpectedly got me to a new path in the nursing realm. Where I am now and where I have been in nursing so far, where we're definitely not where I saw myself going. No one likes going through the trials of life. The fact of the matter is we live in a fallen and broken world and trials will happen.

Though admittingly, I did not like the way God used that led me to the place I am now. I could see how He was there the whole time. I have learned He sometimes uses trials to get us out of situations to make changes to our life's direction and to grow our faith in Him. Also to be more discerning when unexpected opportunities come along through prayer. Thinking back, I can recall many opportunities that came along where I heard of new work opportunities that were unexpectedly presented to me from others that I had brushed off and not looked into, because I already had a job. Thinking in hindsight, I really should have brought those opportunities to God in prayer instead of dismissing them myself. I suspect he was calling me out of that job long before I knew something was not right. It took an intense season of burnout before I listened to him.

I'm glad you did eventually. And it is hard. You know, it's such a practice of discernment, right? And it's experiences like this that form that practice and perspective of discernment. It's so hard and frustrating.

Sometimes the times of trial, I think is how you phrased it. These difficult experiences are the things that we go through when we actually learn these lessons. But I think it's beautiful the way that you look back on that season and recognize what God was doing and have been able to learn from those things. So as there's nurses out there listening to this episode right now, maybe some of them are experiencing burnout currently. Maybe they're newer nurses or maybe they've been in the field for a while. Whatever their story is, whatever their circumstances of burnout is, what hope and encouragement would you offer to them today as we reflected on this Psalm and your story today?

For me, before shift, I pray to him, specifically regarding the anxieties I'm having, and ask for his guidance and his peace that surpasses all understanding. So I would encourage those listening to fire ahead in your car before you go into the building before your shift. And pour to God all your anxieties and fears regarding your shift. And ask him to fill you with his peace and presence. And hold out your hands to him and ask him to give you discernment on how you may help meet the needs of your patients or colleagues. Let's not forget about your colleagues. And that his will may be done through you on your shift. Expect the unexpected, his unexpected. Thinking back to the patients that asked me for prayer out of the blue. That was his unexpected. You know, I don't walk around in the hospital hall saying, hi, oh, I'm a Christian. Hello. I believe that God used his spirit to prompt that patient to ask me for prayer. And that was a way of meeting their spiritual needs. And related to this, pray, not just for God to change the situation or other help, but also cry out to Him. Pour out to Him your anxieties and fears. You may have to wait in silence for a bit, but use it as a time to get closer with Him. He's using this time to build a closer relationship with Him as you lean more into Him and continue to hope in Him because He is our refuge. Listen to your gut feeling by taking it to Him in prayer.

Do not be quick to dismiss opportunities that may come along. Take it to Him through prayer. Also have a godly support system outside of work. People that you can share with what you are going through, who might be able to see your situation from another angle, a community. I will give a plug for NCF's Nurse Mentor Program. NCF will match a new grad nurse with a seasoned Christian nurse. And the lady that NCF matched me with, God greatly used her in my beginning nursing journey. She always took the time to listen, gave godly advice. And at the end of every call took the time to read scripture over me and pray. We're still in touch today.

I love that.

Lastly, don't allow nursing or any job to become your identity. It's really easy for your nursing job to become your identity. You've gone through nursing school, you've passed the NCLEX. You would not be a nurse if you were not really smart. I'll just put that out there. So it's really easy to take pride in your work. Yeah. Your career is not everything. Place your identity in Jesus. You are a child of God. Jobs come and go. Jesus remains.

That is beautifully, beautifully said. And you are so right. Nurses, y'all are so smart and so impressive. And you all work hard to get there. And it is easy for that to be the sort of defining thing of your identity.

But I love what you said about our identity being found in Jesus. I just wanna repeat that last thing you said because it's so beautiful. Jobs come and go, but Jesus remains. Amen to that. Thank you so so much for sharing your story and for reflecting on on these verses from Psalms with me today. It was really great to be with you.

Thank you. It was a pleasure.

As we close, hear the invitation of Psalm 62. To trust God at all times and to pour out your heart before him. He is your refuge. If you're weary, start there. Even a simple prayer before your shift, naming your fears and fatigue and opening your hands to God can begin to steady your heart.

And don't do this alone. If this episode resonated with you, consider getting involved with Nurses Christian Fellowship through mentorship, community, or spiritual support. Or maybe God is inviting you to take a step further to volunteer, intern, or even serve part time or full time, helping other nurses follow Jesus in the middle of healthcare. If that's stirring in you, pay attention, bring it to God. He often leads through small faithful yeses.

If you'd like to pursue a role on staff with NCF email us at ncfinterversity.org Let's close in prayer. God, you alone are our rock and our refuge. Teach us to trust you and to pour our hearts out to you. Meet every weary nurse with your peace and guide those you are calling into deeper service.

In Jesus' name, Amen.